


Castiel's Clueless Courting

by my_angel_misha



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Actually I don't know if this is funny, Cas is adorably clueless, Crack?, Fluff, Google is very important to the human race, Humor, M/M, Sam is a Sweetheart, but it's really cute, i dont know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 05:10:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10869780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_angel_misha/pseuds/my_angel_misha
Summary: Castiel adores Sam Winchester with every fiber of his being. The angel wants to court Sam, as he wants the younger Winchester to become his boyfriend, and his alone. Things turn out pretty well, if he says so himself.





	Castiel's Clueless Courting

Castiel was very sure that he wanted Sam Winchester as a mate. Or, a boyfriend, as the humans said. Sam was gorgeous, smart, and funny in such a way that Cas' heart warmed whenever the taller Winchester was around.

Although Castiel vaguely knew about the basics of courting, he didn't know the specifics. He needed to win Sam over, and there was only one way to do that; there was only one wise source that the humans spoke of so reverently. The all-knowing 'site' (what was a site, anyway? Dean said they were for porn) that hushed millions in its presence. This site not only was a host for millions of different deep, philosophical questions, but the answers given were always, _always_ correct, or so Dean said.

_Google._

Castiel hummed to himself as he logged onto Dean's laptop while the elder Winchester was out at the store on a grocery run. (The password was Impala69. Castiel had thought that Dean's car was made in the year 1967, but he must be wrong) The Angel scoped around on the internet, his brow furrowed in concentration as he typed into Google:

_How to woo a very beautiful gentleman, and make him love you for a very long time, but not forever because he will die someday, and I will see him in heaven, because I will visit him there._

No results found? Perhaps this Google source was not so smart after all. The angel huffed quietly and read the small print below his failed search.

_Make sure all the words are spelled correctly._

Castiel was an academic if there had ever been one. How dare a site tell him otherwise? As if he'd spell a word wrong.

_Try different keywords._

Well, Sam was a beautiful gentleman, and he certainly wouldn't change that. Not even for Google.

_Try more general keywords._

Well, let's try this again, Cas thought to himself and sighed.

_How to woo a beautiful gentleman._

142,394 results; that was quite reassuring.

Castiel clicked on a Wikipedia page, reading over the information and noting it in his head. Candy? Flowers? Cute notes? Those were all very human methods to attaining a mate. Well, Sam was a human, indeed. This wouldn't be so hard.

\-----

Castiel awoke the next day with a burning readiness to make Sam love him. To attain the necessary ingredients for instant affection, he would need to travel to a store. Perhaps Walmart. No. Walmart made him uncomfortable.

Chipotle sold love emblems, right? No, they sold Mexican food. Dean said to never give Sam burritos, anyway.

Maybe he could buy Sam love emblems at the store in town, titled XXX Lovers. (Dean made fun of Cas' cluelessness. But what else could the name stand for besides Xylophone Xylophone Xylophone Lovers?) Maybe that store wasn't the best choice either.

Maybe he could make Sam the perfect gift. That was a wonderful idea. Humans very much appreciate personal craftsmanship.

Castiel looked around the bunker for a while until he found a pack of printer paper, ripping it open and spreading out the markers he found as well on the kitchen table.

He worked for an hour or so, cutting, coloring, and gluing at the table. Sam would appreciate this homemade gift much more than any Xylophone from the store, he was sure.

Castiel snuck through the bunker, placing the piece of paper right outside of Sam's door. He hoped Sam didn't slip on it. Actually... Maybe it would make more of an impact that way. Dean always said that his scars were memories. The angel practically ran back to his room, very, very excited to see Sam's reaction.

\-----

When Sam opened his bedroom door early in the morning, a small, white piece of paper caught his eye on the ground. He picked it up and smiled fondly when he realized who it was from.

The paper said 'Bee Mine?' in yellow and black font, with a beautifully drawn bee next to the words. There were little hearts drawn around the exterior of the card. _Actual_ heart drawings. Not the fake kind of hearts, either. That made Sam laugh a little. The hearts would've been a little creepy if they hadn't been drawn by Cas.

He tucked the note into his room and made his way towards Castiel's room, a smile on his lips as he knocked at the door.

"Cas?" He murmured and rapped gently at the wood of the door, waiting for a response.

"Sam, come in." Castiel spoke from the other side of the door, seemingly up and around.

Sam walked inside with a grin, glancing at Cas who was sitting on his bed. "Hey, Cas. Was that note for me?"

Castiel nodded and smiled proudly, running a hand through his dark hair. "Yes, I made it myself. Did you understand the message?"

Sam grinned brightly and nodded, gazing at the blue-eyed angel. "I'd love to be yours. I mean, _bee_ yours."

Castiel furrowed his brows. "You just said the same thing twice." He murmured, but began to smile bashfully after a moment. "You want to be mine?"

Sam chuckled and nodded, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Cas' waist. "Most definitely. I think I've always kinda been yours, you know?"

Castiel smiled and relaxed into the hug, clearly very happy with the way things turned out. "I understand. Thank you."

"Anything for you, Cas. Anything for you." Sam murmured, holding the angel in his arms.

And that's exactly how they stayed for the rest of the day; the angel nested in his boyfriend's loving arms.

There was no place he'd rather be.

**Author's Note:**

> Drop me a comment if you enjoyed! :)


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